So, this is a little different than most of my posts.
When I was younger, I always knew that I wanted to be a writer. To be exact, I desperately wanted to become a writer or songwriter. I loved music and I love writing. But I came to accept realistically I needed something to support me while writing and so I chose accounting because it sounded interesting.
Except, my grades disagreed with me. Or maybe it’s my own inital laziness. I really don’t know. These days, I’ve been surrounded by nothing but fear and anger. Constantly wondering and second guessing every choice I make and just scared….
But if there is one thing I’m certain about, it’s that I’m not happy. In fact, I had a bit of a mental breakdown about it. Literally cried on a sofa clutching a pillow after a misunderstanding during a texting conversation. Something that is, rather uncharacteristic of me.
I don’t know when it’ll change, I hope it does. Since I don’t want to be always unhappy. I know there is something I can and will do someday. I just haven’t found it.
But I know I love music, and I love writing so much. Gosh I could monologue and senerade the very topic if I wanted too. I have actually. Hehe, but ah for now I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
So, I hope if God is really watching over me now. Please, help me figure out what I want to do? Since I really don’t know.
From a hopeful writer who dreams,
Sora Hono
Daily Muses of a Pensive Poet 